Obviously, I’d never do this
Here’s a poser for anyone who has ever tried to bring up children. Have you ever had a day, say about a week into the school holidays, when the children have been needling away at each other all day, and the floor is a tip of discarded toys, and you get them out of the house by taking them to the park and you sit in a chill spring breeze with your fingers turning slowly numb from the cold while you try not to think about your sore throat getting worse and the pile of ironing waiting to be done, and you bring the children home and they whine and thump each other in the car, and they whine and thump each other back home and you shout at them about lack of respect blah blah, and you try to make amends by suggesting a board game but you can’t play it because some of the pieces have been lost, ad nauseam until supper time when, as you open the freezer to grab the fish fingers because you’ve run out of inspiration for anything else, your eye falls on the flask of rather disgusting blackcurrant duty-free vodka lurking unwanted at the bottom of the freezer shelf, and before you know it you’ve poured yourself a double and downed it, before you go back to chopping up the broccoli?
No, of course you haven’t. Neither have I, you understand. Let’s look at a nice calming picture instead.
See also: Have a heart: Valentine’s Day Cake