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Obviously, I’d never do this

April 7, 2010

Here’s a poser for anyone who has ever tried to bring up children. Have you ever had a day, say about a week into the school holidays, when the children have been needling away at each other all day, and the floor is a tip of discarded toys, and you get them out of the house by taking them to the park and you sit in a chill spring breeze with your fingers turning slowly numb from the cold while you try not to think about your sore throat getting worse and the pile of ironing waiting to be done, and you bring the children home and they whine and thump each other in the car, and they whine and thump each other back home and you shout at them about lack of respect blah blah, and you try to make amends by suggesting a board game but you can’t play it because some of the pieces have been lost, ad nauseam until supper time when, as you open the freezer to grab the fish fingers because you’ve run out of inspiration for anything else, your eye falls on the flask of rather disgusting blackcurrant duty-free vodka lurking unwanted at the bottom of the freezer shelf, and before you know it you’ve poured yourself a double and downed it, before you go back to chopping up the broccoli?

No, of course you haven’t. Neither have I, you understand. Let’s look at a nice calming picture instead.

See also: Have a heart: Valentine’s Day Cake

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21 Comments leave one →
  1. maryz permalink
    April 7, 2010 9:41 pm

    Been there, done that! (but the kids are in their 50s now)

  2. April 7, 2010 11:11 pm

    No kids but just reading that post had me reaching for the gin – and glad I stuck to cats!

  3. April 8, 2010 10:22 am

    Reason #17 I don’t have children!

  4. dancingbeastie permalink
    April 8, 2010 10:49 am

    I was sure it couldn’t just be me who has *never* had a day like that. Thanks for the solidarity, Mary!

    Sian and Violet Sky, of course I do sometimes glance over the other side of the fence and wonder….but really, I love them more than my life. They are usually great kids, loving, kind and funny. There are days, though, when you have to REALLY want children to want to have children…. 😉

  5. April 8, 2010 11:33 am

    Yes, unfortunately one also misses the good times.
    This is where an extended family would be most advantageous.
    I used to envy my Italian friend who lived with grandparents and aunts all on the same city block. There was always someone else to play with and another house to escape to when things got rough.

    • dancingbeastie permalink
      April 8, 2010 11:58 am

      Completely agree. Fragmented nuclear families are not particularly good for our mental health, I think.

  6. April 8, 2010 6:59 pm

    No, of course I cannot relate to that……in every aspect of my life only a few rules come with the whole concept of being me: a stiff upper lip and a very calm appearance.
    Always! Sure, dream on!
    I like the meadow very much!
    Agneta,
    the Swedish cool, calm and collected friend of yours!

  7. Wendy permalink
    April 9, 2010 9:55 am

    Oh I love your blog! Have just discovered it and now you prove you really are just like me! School holidays can be rather arduous to us all. I am in Australia, near Brisbane and just love to look at the other side of things. Cheers Wendy

  8. April 9, 2010 11:24 am

    Hilarious!! Just had a friend and her 4 children to stay and we needed a stiff drink well before the sun was over the yard-arm, both evenings!! My darling son remarked “Mummy, I’m pleased I only have one sister as they (our friends) argue A LOT!” Mmmmmm……I was sure I wanted 4 children but 2 is just perfect!

  9. dancingbeastie permalink
    April 9, 2010 12:22 pm

    Thank you so much, Wendy! It’s nice to have you here.

    Katie, I think if there’s anything harder than your own children in your own home, it has to be other people’s darlings in your own home! I used to want lots of children but, as one wise friend told me years ago, any more than two and YOU ARE OUTNUMBERED.

  10. April 9, 2010 12:49 pm

    Mine have been angels this week. Holiday bliss. I wonder what’s cooking.
    You can always stick that beautiful meadow picture on your kitchen cupboard to cut your broccoli by.

    • dancingbeastie permalink
      April 9, 2010 7:19 pm

      That might be a good idea!

  11. April 10, 2010 6:11 pm

    I can assure you that I was always a perfectly behaved child, so my mother would never have had one of those days. And, of course, my teenage years were a breeze for her too.

    On a different note, the ‘Household Wants Indicator’ is brilliant! I’d like one–although I don’t imagine ever needing an arrow root or pipe clay.

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